FiM Fiction Review - Freeze Frame

We're finally at the end of the first season of Stories Back from the Read. It's been five weeks of trekking through the perilous wilderness that is FiMFiction, but we're finally here. Hopefully you've read some of the fantastic stories featured and going to vote when polls open November 9th. News and all that good stuff aside, when I finished reading ToixStory's Freeze Frame, I laid in bed trying to comprehend how I was even going to approach this review. ToixStory's masterpiece is a mind-blowing mix of a phenomenal cast of characters, superb dialogue and excellent story progression. It's an engrossing adventure filled with drama and suspense and I couldn't have thought of a better way to bring up the rear of this reviewing season. Fillies and gentlecolts, it's been a pleasure reviewing with you tonight.

FiM Fiction Review - The Detective and the Magician

It’s a bit strange. Things have been quiet in this fine land I live in. Of course, there is no paranoia to be found in the lack of collapsing Texaco gasoline stations, but that leaves this review void of cruel metaphorical humor. Well, we could always joke about the poor lady who nearly lost her thumb to her cat. However, there could be some discomfort in the fact that the ‘poor lady’ is my mother. So, for the sake of not being thrown into a mental institution, we will get on with the review. Bad Horse’s The Detective and the Magician is nothing short of amazing. It’s a crossover than will not disappoint with good dialogue, a deep mystery, and outstanding characters. It wouldn't take Holmes too long to figure out why The Detective and the Magician is definitely one of my personal favorites.

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The Detective and the Magician by Bad Horse

Complete (Completed on July 29, 2012)

To Holmes, she is always the mare.  In his eyes she eclipses the whole of her sex, and fills him with admiration and loathing.  Whether she in fact stole the Starry Night was ultimately beside the point.  What mattered to Holmes was that he had been matched at his own game, by a mare; that it had not been altogether unpleasant; and that she had caused him, however briefly, to turn his keen and unflinching gaze upon himself. Read it here.

Tags: Romantic, Sad, Crossover, Adventure

Rating: Everyone

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As a reader, the last thing I want to see in crossover, especially in those of the usually darker topic, is canon characters. Without pointing fingers, I find that some people include canon characters in a crossover is too often trying to cater towards the love of such character. However, The Detective and the Magician doesn't suffer from such this. In fact, it’s biggest strength is the use of Trixie as Irene Adler. Their characters combine beautifully and Trixie never feels out of character; with the exception of one instance that Trixie breaks Adler’s character. The characters of Fetlock Holmes and John Watson do well on their own as well. Their characters are captured well and their dialogue is clever and engaging.

The story is sweet and simple. Bad Horse keep things short but, even at 14,000 words, keeps the plot interesting and easy to follow. Concepts regarding magic theory are explained well and the romance, or whatever romance is in Holmes’ case, is just as entertaining. The whole concept of love is comedic to Holmes and it is captured excellently in the writing.  Just between you and me, Trixie was sexy enough to drive even my non-clopper mind to wishing for a hot night. So much for keeping these reviews PG.

If there is one thing thing that sells this story it’s the dialogue. As mentioned, it is excellently crafted; being clever yet easy to follow. Bad Horse keeps the whole Holmes feel of it, forcing me to use the dictionary on more than one occasion. It’s one of the first stories to have the dialogue feels organic and flow nicely. Two words: absolutely phenomenal.

Unfortunately, I do have one minor complaint. The writing style isn’t exactly top notch. Bad Horse is a very visual writer and it shows. Photographs and drawings are used throughout the story and I mean actual photos and drawings. Don’t get me wrong, the use of illustrations isn’t a bad thing but like I said, it shows in the writing style. The Detective and the Magician is written with long descriptors and while it’s not a bad thing, it could use some polish.

I checked again. Still all quiet. It’s starting to creep me out, living in the most boring corner of the United States. The Detective and the Magician is a story that will satisfy all your Pony Holmes needs. The incredible cast, entertaining dialogue, and engaging mystery makeup for the writing style by a country mile, making it well deserving of its score of nine out of ten. This has been Admujica. Have a great week and don’t forget about Mother’s Day on Sunday.

The Detective and the Magician gets a score of: 9 out of 10

Fantastic character backed by great dialogue make this a crossover that won’t fail to engage its readers

Read it here.

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Side Note: An Open Letter of Thanks

I wanted to take the time to thank not only Bad Horse, who tossed up this on his blog, but all of the people who read and follow my reviews. The Second of May marked two months since I published my first review. It has already been a wonderful journey and I cannot wait to see what the future brings. My friends, you are the reason I carry on. Thank you for the patience, kindness, generosity, honesty, and loyalty you’ve all shown. I hope you continue to join me on this journey.

Sincerely,

Adrian Mujica-Martinez

FiM Fiction Review - White Box

Well, SimCity proved to be a complete failure so I spent much of my week on Youtube and watching the launcher tell me Servers Busy: Please wait a hundred more hours. Of course, much of that time fimfiction.net stared at me from that comfortable place on my bookmarks bar like a lost cat longing for attention. I think all of you can guess what was the first thing I saw: an unread story that has 10,000+ views. This should be a piece of cake. So let’s get reviewing shall we? 

Chromosome’s White Box is nothing short of a masterpiece. For being a short story that shouldn't bring much investment when it comes to character development (due to time constraints), this story hooked me from the start with its excellent writing style and winning narration. Even with its considerably large plot holes, White Box was an incredibly touching and thought provoking experience. Here is why this story made me shed some liquid pride.

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White Box by Chromosome

Complete (last updated April 18, 2012)

My name is Canvas. I remember because I wrote it in the corner of the white box. It takes twelve steps to get from the cot to the wall. And the lights hurt my eyes. Read it here.

Tags: Tragedy

Rating: Teen

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White Box is an interesting take on insanity or more accurately, lack of knowledge. The whole drive behind it is questioning why the character thinks the way he does. What is most fascinating is how well the narrative immerses me into Canvas’s head. Canvas, more precisely his thoughts, narrate the story and it makes the narrative legitimately from his point of view. In fact, the narrative is probably the highest point in this story. Not to mention how his thoughts flow really well and feel incredibly natural. Since the story is mostly thought driven, I was surprised when I found myself not asking about details of actions or environments.

This first-person, thought-driven setup takes on a few issue and succeeds past my expectations, because of how simple everything seems at first. To me, it was shaping up to a really simple-minded approach to Canvas’s character. I shocked when it did the complete opposite. I found that White Box was so brilliantly set up to later so us just how much he develops as a character! In addition, it delivers one hell-of-a-punch when things got intense near the end.

The pacing was excellently done and it became apparent when the climax felt like a train hit me. The build up was excellent and there weren't any parts that felt rushed or overstayed their welcome. Twilight’s appearance was spot on and Chromosome put her in a place we have never seen before: what she will do when she sees other ponies doing wrong deeds. Twi stayed true to her character and reacted just as she would in the show. This is pretty amazing considering how we've never seen such a situation canonized.

Unfortunately, White Box has a big flaw to it. As mentioned in the beginning of my review, this story has some plot holes. Although it wraps up nicely, several questions are left unanswered. A fair share of things were not explained and left me wondering if there was more. I consider this major problem because  White Box doesn't have any excuse to continue the main conflict.

There are not enough words in the modern English dictionary to express how much I recommend this story. To summarize, mind-blowing narrative, incredible character development, excellent pacing, and an intense climax came together to make a real masterpiece. White Box is must-read for anyone looking to a short, touching story. Thank you Chromosome. This was Admujica, see you guys next time.

White Box gets a rating of: 9 out of 10

Read it here. (Click it NOW!)