FiM Fiction Review: On Time for a Change

Welcome back, internet travelers! It appears we're having an unofficial comedy week here as this is the second comedy I have reviewed and the second time I took the schedule as a complete joke! Yeah… Just give no regard to the calendar for now. I'll have it fixed by The Sword Coast! Promise! Jumping in, LordSmokedMeatsandFishes's On Time for a Change follows the story of Pendulum, an expert in logistics, as he tries to fix Ponyville's Winter Wrap Up problem. He runs into the inevitable roadblocks and humor ensues. Unfortunately, On Time for a Change has a great setup but is inhibited by its own setbacks. Pendulum is the stereotypical unlikeable Manehatten businessman and the story is rather ill-paced and badly executed. Everything else is not at all memorable or clever, making for an overall lackluster read. Head below the break for my review of On Time for a Change by LordSmokedMeatsandFishes. 

FiM Fiction Review: Awaken, Scootaloo

I would usher in the review with a remark about something that happened in the last week or commenting on the last review in hindsight, but I have nothing to say this time. This limbo is torturous. Hopping in, xjuggernaughtx’s Awaken, Scootaloo took me completely by surprise. I started reading expecting another sub-par fic desperately trying to tug at my heart string but instead was moved by a fantastic short story sporting on an awfully relatable message. Along with wonderfully done dialogue and well portrayed canon characters, I definitely recommend Awaken, Scootaloo for those of you looking for something short to read. Head below the break for my full review of Awaken, Scootaloo by xjuggernaughtx. 

FiM Fiction (Collab) Review: Mother May I?

Welcome back, internet travelers! As the post banner may suggest, we are spicing things up a little bit around here. You see, I love it when another critic wants to try something new with me so when Fantasia Archmage came to me looking to collab on a review, I quickly read up on his own reviews and decided “Why not?” So here we are! Head below the break to find our reviews on Moabite’s Mother May I? and make sure to check out some of Fantasia’s stuff as well! 

FiM Fiction Review - Freeze Frame

We're finally at the end of the first season of Stories Back from the Read. It's been five weeks of trekking through the perilous wilderness that is FiMFiction, but we're finally here. Hopefully you've read some of the fantastic stories featured and going to vote when polls open November 9th. News and all that good stuff aside, when I finished reading ToixStory's Freeze Frame, I laid in bed trying to comprehend how I was even going to approach this review. ToixStory's masterpiece is a mind-blowing mix of a phenomenal cast of characters, superb dialogue and excellent story progression. It's an engrossing adventure filled with drama and suspense and I couldn't have thought of a better way to bring up the rear of this reviewing season. Fillies and gentlecolts, it's been a pleasure reviewing with you tonight.

FiM Fiction Review - Your Beutifull

Welcome back everypony! The thing with this Stories Back to the Read series is that it's sort of like going through your old record collection. The nostalgia just flows in. But I'm pretty sure most of you don't care how many clopfics I've read about my reading history so without further ado: Your Beutifull is not a story that revolutionizes the romance genre, but it does its job well and has some humorous plot elements driving the story beyond "[Pony 1] can't get themselves to tell [Pony 2] she loves him/her." I personally enjoyed some of these quirky elements and, along with great pacing and characterization, I would recommend you check this one out if you're into shipping. Onward to the review!

FiM Fiction Review - Two Worlds; One Family

Here we go again. I'll be blunt. Kind of like a band-aid: if you know it'll be painful, might as well take it off quickly. MrEnter's Two Worlds; One Family needs many revisions. From pacing to characterization, this story is horribly flawed. Although there are some moments that tear you up a bit, the characters are uninteresting and the reader has little reason to care for them. We see the main character barely develop due to some poor storytelling choices and There not much reason to care for the sub-conflict involving the Mane 6. When other original characters are added to the story, they hardly move the plot (if there was any) forward. The list really goes on and on. Two Worlds; One Family is in desperate need of some rewriting and a lot needs to be thrown out or polished. However, if I mentioned all the issues this story has here, it would be called the intro. Onward to the review!

FiM Fiction Review - Quizzical

As I watch my inbox turn into a jumbled mass of unread stories, I couldn't help but notice that most of them don't really fit into the My Little Pony universe. I guess that’s the nature of fan fiction right? However, I could very well say that JMac's Quizzical fits seems seamlessly into our enchanted land of magical talking horses with one exception. Damn you, Alicorn Twilight. Nevertheless, I can easily say that Quizzical might be one of my favorite stories of 2012 for it’s strengths in character development, story arc, and great dialogue. Even with its rough edges, Quizzical is definitely worth a read. Let's get our review on and see why.

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Quizzical by JMac

Complete (Finished Dec 8, 2012)

Quizzical Greystone has just come to Ponyville as an assistant in Friendship Research.  Such a socially inept filly might not be the best pony for the job.  But this just might be the job she  needs.  If you can't make friends in Ponyville can you make friends anywhere? Read it here.

Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy

Rating: Everyone

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Quizzical, the story’s main character and namesake, is probably the most dull and boring character I have ever met; but I loved her! JMac had me hooked from the get go as Quizzical’s character is expertly introduced and stays the strong throughout the story. Her dialogue strengthens her character even more by feeling like a clear extension of her personality. Quizzical's biggest strength is in character development pretty much all across the board. Unfortunately, this can't be said for the antagonists. The characters introduced in the latter part of the story felt rushed and forgettable. It’s a strange contrast for a story with such great ones. Nevertheless, Quizzical has excellent characters and sticks to having the Mane 6 stay in character pretty well.

As stated above, the dialogue is great and compliments the personalities of the entire cast. Although it does have its hiccups from time to time, the dialogue flows smoothly and feels highly organic. More than anyone, Quizzical’s lines are feel like an extension of her character. No small feat considering she is an original character. Not to mention there are one or two references thrown in. Did I lose an eyebrow? Did you really think you could hide those MythBusters references from me, JMac?

Pacing is done extremely well with plenty of time taken to development characters and establish relationships. Nor do the scenes overstay their welcome. Nothing in this story feels rushed or slow. Hats off to JMac for that one. The one thing that did bother me was the structure. Paragraphs and chapters end and begin very abruptly. As a result, Quizzical is choppy and it scene transitions are odd and badly placed. The overall writing style doesn't flow naturally. Although the story is easy to follow, it is a bit hard to read without getting a bit annoyed at the transitions.

This is already a long review. Don't worry, I'm almost done. Quizzical suffers from what I like to call “the sequel syndrome.” Don't get me wrong, sequels are good and I definitely plan to read Thweet Geniuth, the sequel to Quizzical. Yes, I need more Quiz and yes, I love that pony! Now I say “sequel” with plenty of caution because Thweet Geniuth doesn't seem to continue Quiz’s character arc. Nevertheless, Quizzical ends very abruptly. Quiz's arc is open ended and there isn't really any conclusion to the story. You know what? I could be wrong. Until I read Thweet Geniuth, which introduces a new conflict and looks to develop Twist’s character, I can’t say anything. All I know for now is that Quizzical ends badly, leaving open ends and not finishing Quiz's character arc. "Wait! You forgot something Admujica! There is another sequel! Quizzical And the Basements of Doom is currently in production!" A huge grin just crept across my face.

I told you I was almost done. Quizzical does have problems with it story. I can’t exactly say because I've kept these reviews spoiler free and they're going to stay that way! Maybe I publish a new series called Spoiler-licious-ness. That'll be fun. We’re getting off track here. Even though Quizzical has its rough edges, it’s strong characters and entertaining dialogue make an excellent story. I definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a medium length comedy. This has been Admujica. Have a good week everypony.

Quizzical gets a score of: 8.7 out of 10

Strong characters and excellent dialogue join to make an enjoyable story

Read it here.

Squeal: Thweet Geniuth can be found here.

Squeal: Quizzical Greystone And the Basements of Doom can be found here.