Coming up next on Problematic Reviews

Coming up next on Problematic Reviews

Saturday, October 5, 2013

FiM Fiction Review - Your Beutifull

Welcome back everypony! The thing with this Stories Back to the Read series is that it's sort of like going through your old record collection. The nostalgia just flows in. But I'm pretty sure most of you don't care how many clopfics I've read about my reading history so without further ado: Your Beutifull is not a story that revolutionizes the romance genre, but it does its job well and has some humorous plot elements driving the story beyond "[Pony 1] can't get themselves to tell [Pony 2] she loves him/her." I personally enjoyed some of these quirky elements and, along with great pacing and characterization, I would recommend you check this one out if you're into shipping. Onward to the review!

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Your Beutifull by theswimminbrony
Incomplete (Last Updated 16th May 2013)

On what begins as a normal day, Twilight Sparkle receives a letter of a romantic and (very) grammatically incorrect nature. With the help of her friends and a newly-discovered book, Twilight sets out to expose the author of this crime and teach them a lesson in proper grammar. And maybe, just maybe, she'll learn a thing or two about romance along the way. Read it here.

Tags: Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life - Rating: Everyone
Words: 14,094 words total - Featured on Equestria Daily
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I looked back at this story and asked myself two things: when and how? Turns out the when was December 2012, when I hadn't the slightest clue why I liked shipping; and the why came when I read it. You quickly learn that this isn't strictly a shipfic by definition. The main conflict keeps the story going, making Your Beutifull never feel dead in the water. However, not being a straight up shipfic is fine and dandy until the both conflicts start to lose weight. Both sort of bounce off of each other and by fourteen-thousand words, I want to see more development in the actual romance. Don't get me wrong, Your Beutifull is far from a slowly progressing plot, but, in order to keep the plot moving steadily, the story needs to dive deep into the romantic side of things.

Your Beutifull has a small cast featuring the Mane 6, mainly Twilight and Spike and it's obvious that theswimminbrony knows how to write these characters. I can't recall a single moment when a canon character felt exaggerated or out of character. Twilight's performance has a wide narrative and steals the spotlight in every scene she's in with superb emotional descriptors. Spike is no less outstanding with some show-inspired comedic dialogue. I enjoyed the brief appearances of the other Mane 6 and the character arcs aren't too far-fetched from something you would see in My Little Pony if it weren't for shipping.

On the same note, the dialogue definitely hits its mark. Each and every conversation feels unique and stylish with witty and playful humor. It's entertaining, organic and more than anything, flows nicely from topic to topic. It's easy to say that dialogue is Your Beutifull's strongest point and, considering it's an extremely dialogue-driven story, that's a good thing indeed.

Scene visualization was solid to say the least. While I can't say it hindered this story, scenes don't get much attention. Readers are kept very much in the dark with only basic visualization given. Why does it not hinder the mood? For the same reason the conversations are so enjoyable: characters and dialogue set up with the tone in mind. If anything, I can say the minimal scene visualization sort of benefited the story's pacing. It lets the story flow smoothly and benefits its pacing greatly. So, while it's not a huge blow, I can't say it's not an inconvenience in some scenes.

Speaking of pacing, Your Beutifull's pacing and story progression are well done with the story not plowing ahead or slowing down. Scenes flow smoothly as they transition and keep your attention throughout. I felt this was quite the achievement considering the longevity of some the conversations. I felt theswimminbrony had room to breathe with the clutter of scene visualization out of the way, leaving room for more outstanding dialogue.

I enjoyed Your Beutifull and while it doesn't at all change the shipfic genre, it's not nearly your run of the mill one. I enjoyed the humorous side-story, well-flowing and comedic dialogue, and excellent character impersonation of the Mane 6. If you don't like shipfics, I can't say Your Beutifull will change that. If you, as I do, enjoy the pairing of lesbian cartoon horses and don't feel guilty about it, I say you give this one a peek when you have the time. This has been Admujica. Thanks for reading have a fantastic weekend everypony.

Your Beutifull gets a score of: 7.8 out of 10 - Definitely Recommended
An overall well done story is backed by some witty dialogue and great characterization with some visualization issues
Read it here.

Up Next: Twilight Sparkle: Night Shift by JawJoe

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