FiM Fiction Review: Awaken, Scootaloo

I would usher in the review with a remark about something that happened in the last week or commenting on the last review in hindsight, but I have nothing to say this time. This limbo is torturous. Hopping in, xjuggernaughtx’s Awaken, Scootaloo took me completely by surprise. I started reading expecting another sub-par fic desperately trying to tug at my heart string but instead was moved by a fantastic short story sporting on an awfully relatable message. Along with wonderfully done dialogue and well portrayed canon characters, I definitely recommend Awaken, Scootaloo for those of you looking for something short to read. Head below the break for my full review of Awaken, Scootaloo by xjuggernaughtx. 

Stories Back from the Read 2013 | The Contestants, the Votes, and the Interviews

Welcome fillies and gentlecolts to Stories Back from the Read 2013! We are honored to bring you this exciting contest featuring the amazing works of four spectacular authors. Before anything though, the post below contains the contestants of this year's contest, details dealing with the voting process, and last but not least, an important announcement regarding the winner. So without further ado....

FiM Fiction Review - Freeze Frame

We're finally at the end of the first season of Stories Back from the Read. It's been five weeks of trekking through the perilous wilderness that is FiMFiction, but we're finally here. Hopefully you've read some of the fantastic stories featured and going to vote when polls open November 9th. News and all that good stuff aside, when I finished reading ToixStory's Freeze Frame, I laid in bed trying to comprehend how I was even going to approach this review. ToixStory's masterpiece is a mind-blowing mix of a phenomenal cast of characters, superb dialogue and excellent story progression. It's an engrossing adventure filled with drama and suspense and I couldn't have thought of a better way to bring up the rear of this reviewing season. Fillies and gentlecolts, it's been a pleasure reviewing with you tonight.

FiM Fiction Review - Your Beutifull

Welcome back everypony! The thing with this Stories Back to the Read series is that it's sort of like going through your old record collection. The nostalgia just flows in. But I'm pretty sure most of you don't care how many clopfics I've read about my reading history so without further ado: Your Beutifull is not a story that revolutionizes the romance genre, but it does its job well and has some humorous plot elements driving the story beyond "[Pony 1] can't get themselves to tell [Pony 2] she loves him/her." I personally enjoyed some of these quirky elements and, along with great pacing and characterization, I would recommend you check this one out if you're into shipping. Onward to the review!

FiM Fiction Review - Of Steam Gears and Wings

At this point things are back to the daily grind and late nights studying with Pandora Radio as my only companion. I personally don't mind for one reason: stories like RavensDagger's Of Steam Gears and Wings. Stories like this one are a breath of fresh air even if it is far from perfection. The characterization of the Cutie Mark Crusaders is fantastic as they are plunged into an epic struggle between an ambitious rebellion and an empire's monstrous armada; all made possible with the power of breathtaking world building and exposition. Scene visuals are well baked and the overall presentation is excellent. If there was one issue with Of Steam Gears and Wings, it would be that the dialogue gets a bit rough in some places. Nevertheless, Of Steam Gears and Wings is nothing short of excellent. Onwards to the review!

FiM Fiction Review - The End [Stories Back From the Read - Season 1]

I get the feeling I'm going to get a lot of hate for this. Shalrath's The End is by far the most liked story reviewed on this blog, but I would fail as a critic if I told you I was impressed and therefore, earn your hatred. Nevertheless, a critic who doesn't expect to be hated obviously didn't read the job description thoroughly and didn't realize that hatred simply goes under “occupational hazard.” The End is at best a solid story with an excellent presentation but sub-par story elements. Even with its solid dialogue and good structure, The End is likely to disappoint those of you looking for a deeper read with lousy character development and poor story progression. For the sake of getting it over and done with, onward to the review!

Spoiler-licious-ness: Mini-Episode 3 - Reddit Replies: Any Advice for New FiM Fiction Authors?

So when I was first getting setup on the FiM Fiction scene, I thought I was going to be a writer like I've been in the past. To be honest though, I was so lost it was unbelievable. I didn't even know groups existed. So I set off to the one community I was similar with: the sacred lands of Reddit. Tiptoeing my way into the temple of /r/mylittlefanfic, I asked for its sage users. It's been nearly half a year now and even though I never took on my own FiM Fiction stories, I hold their advice near and dear. So without further ado, here's the edited version of the thread. Enjoy!  

Author Spotlight - ShootingStar Interview with Amacita

Good evening, fellow travelers of the interwebs. This one's going to be short so let's hop right to it. I posted my review on ShootingStar159's The Rising Stars about a month ago and revered it for its imaginative world building and fantastic storytelling. If you're looking for a great Starswirl story, The Rising Stars is truly the way to go. Little did I know that a few days after the review, ShootingStar's flagship story, Birthday Wishes, was featured on Equestria Daily. To put it in ShootingStar's own words: "So, that happened... :D" 

FiM Fiction Review - Of Age

You might be asking yourself “why?” I too am asking myself why I am doing this. This is what happens when you stay up till 5am in the morning with your Brony friends. For someone who is not of legal age to drink, I'd imagine it’s an equivalent to those not-so-sober moments. Anyways, it was at this moment that the chump I call my friend turned to me and said “Why the hell don’t you review any of the stories I like?” Turns out he only likes Paleowriter's Of Age. Well then. I knew the time would come that I would have to review a story with a like: dislike ratio of 80 to 1 without being requested to do so. Nevertheless, this one’s for you Eli. Of Age does a phenomenal job of capturing My Little Pony's characters, not only in the dialogue but also in the writing itself. The structure was pretty impressively done is very well written. The only problem I have with Of Age is the pacing. It's mediocre in the opening chapters. Even when you begin to realize this is a really slow story, it feels like the story is taking too long to get to its main conflict.  Nevertheless, I definitely recommend Of Age if you're looking for a good read. 

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Of Age by Paleowriter
Incomplete (Last updated May 13, 2013)
When Rarity writes to Princess Celestia inquiring after how dragons age, she gets a plea for help in reply. A war is brewing, and Princess Celestia thinks Rarity's the one to stop it. Now, still completely uncertain what her feelings for Spike are or if they're even plausible, she's off to meet with his distant relatives to negotiate a truce between the dragons and the sea serpents before the world gets caught up in their destructive clash. Read it here. 
Tags: Romance, Adventure
Rating: Everyone
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It's been two weeks. Two bloody weeks since I've done a review. Thanks final exams. Putting that aside, Of Age shines in its narrative and dialogue due to Paleowriter ability to capture Rarity's character. Pretty much every canon character is excellently done, I believe Rarity and Spike's characters shine due to the narrative. Their thoughts and personalities make an excellent narrative that truly "guides" the reader though the story.  

Like stated in the prior paragraph, the dialogue is absolutely fantastic. The fact that the characters never break character only supplements a beautiful balance of  organic and well-flowing dialogue. Conversations are natural and move very nicely. For the most part, I enjoyed the rich conversations in this story. 

Holy hell. Where are my notes? Ah yes! The excellent narrative is complemented by how well Of Age was written. The story flows nicely and is easy on the reader. Thoughts and internal conversations are expressed through the handy-dandy italic text. Much to my enjoyment, the majority of these "thoughts" never lasted too long nor made the text choppy.  

I was going to put this with the characterization paragraph but this might be considered world building. Nevertheless, the Sea Serpent and Dragon characters, even with their rather momentary appearances, were well fleshed out and their cultures are excellently reflected in their dialogue and actions. There is even a moment when a dragon talks to Rarity about their culture. Much to my surprise, the moment doesn't feel forced or cheesy in any way. Scratch that. Every world building moment in Of Age is beautifully done! Not only that but it is easy to see the differences in the conflicting cultures just off of how the original characters act. Paleowriter expands on what we already know about the world, then slips it into the story without feeling forced or cheesy. That is what every fan fiction writer should strive for. Very nicely done, Paleowriter. 

Of Age obviously has a lot going for it,  but there is one major problem that could make many readers drop it. You see, Of Age starts off very slow and takes a while to get to its main conflict. Don't get me wrong, the conflict is introduced well and quickly captures the reader's attention. Partially because Paleowriter establishes very early on that things are not right very early on. However, the plot never really progresses until about Chapter Four. My advice to the reader: stick to Of Age for a while. It might take awhile to get moving, but the plot is very captivating and has its fair share of twists and turns.  

Believe it or not, I lost my notes on this story more than I feel comfortable admitting. It starting to feel like some kind of bad joke. Nevertheless, I can't say I wasn't disappointed in Of Age once I got over the slow introduction. Backed by it's outstanding dialogue, exceptional characterization, and well written structure, Of Age is a very enjoyable story. Pick this one up if you're looking for an epic adventure with some Sparity tossed in. This has been Admujica, have a great weekend everyone. 

Of Age gets a score of: 8 out of 10 

Exceptional characters and dialogue, very interesting plot once you get past its slow introduction 

Read it here.   

FiM Fiction Review - The Detective and the Magician

It’s a bit strange. Things have been quiet in this fine land I live in. Of course, there is no paranoia to be found in the lack of collapsing Texaco gasoline stations, but that leaves this review void of cruel metaphorical humor. Well, we could always joke about the poor lady who nearly lost her thumb to her cat. However, there could be some discomfort in the fact that the ‘poor lady’ is my mother. So, for the sake of not being thrown into a mental institution, we will get on with the review. Bad Horse’s The Detective and the Magician is nothing short of amazing. It’s a crossover than will not disappoint with good dialogue, a deep mystery, and outstanding characters. It wouldn't take Holmes too long to figure out why The Detective and the Magician is definitely one of my personal favorites.

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The Detective and the Magician by Bad Horse

Complete (Completed on July 29, 2012)

To Holmes, she is always the mare.  In his eyes she eclipses the whole of her sex, and fills him with admiration and loathing.  Whether she in fact stole the Starry Night was ultimately beside the point.  What mattered to Holmes was that he had been matched at his own game, by a mare; that it had not been altogether unpleasant; and that she had caused him, however briefly, to turn his keen and unflinching gaze upon himself. Read it here.

Tags: Romantic, Sad, Crossover, Adventure

Rating: Everyone

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As a reader, the last thing I want to see in crossover, especially in those of the usually darker topic, is canon characters. Without pointing fingers, I find that some people include canon characters in a crossover is too often trying to cater towards the love of such character. However, The Detective and the Magician doesn't suffer from such this. In fact, it’s biggest strength is the use of Trixie as Irene Adler. Their characters combine beautifully and Trixie never feels out of character; with the exception of one instance that Trixie breaks Adler’s character. The characters of Fetlock Holmes and John Watson do well on their own as well. Their characters are captured well and their dialogue is clever and engaging.

The story is sweet and simple. Bad Horse keep things short but, even at 14,000 words, keeps the plot interesting and easy to follow. Concepts regarding magic theory are explained well and the romance, or whatever romance is in Holmes’ case, is just as entertaining. The whole concept of love is comedic to Holmes and it is captured excellently in the writing.  Just between you and me, Trixie was sexy enough to drive even my non-clopper mind to wishing for a hot night. So much for keeping these reviews PG.

If there is one thing thing that sells this story it’s the dialogue. As mentioned, it is excellently crafted; being clever yet easy to follow. Bad Horse keeps the whole Holmes feel of it, forcing me to use the dictionary on more than one occasion. It’s one of the first stories to have the dialogue feels organic and flow nicely. Two words: absolutely phenomenal.

Unfortunately, I do have one minor complaint. The writing style isn’t exactly top notch. Bad Horse is a very visual writer and it shows. Photographs and drawings are used throughout the story and I mean actual photos and drawings. Don’t get me wrong, the use of illustrations isn’t a bad thing but like I said, it shows in the writing style. The Detective and the Magician is written with long descriptors and while it’s not a bad thing, it could use some polish.

I checked again. Still all quiet. It’s starting to creep me out, living in the most boring corner of the United States. The Detective and the Magician is a story that will satisfy all your Pony Holmes needs. The incredible cast, entertaining dialogue, and engaging mystery makeup for the writing style by a country mile, making it well deserving of its score of nine out of ten. This has been Admujica. Have a great week and don’t forget about Mother’s Day on Sunday.

The Detective and the Magician gets a score of: 9 out of 10

Fantastic character backed by great dialogue make this a crossover that won’t fail to engage its readers

Read it here.

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Side Note: An Open Letter of Thanks

I wanted to take the time to thank not only Bad Horse, who tossed up this on his blog, but all of the people who read and follow my reviews. The Second of May marked two months since I published my first review. It has already been a wonderful journey and I cannot wait to see what the future brings. My friends, you are the reason I carry on. Thank you for the patience, kindness, generosity, honesty, and loyalty you’ve all shown. I hope you continue to join me on this journey.

Sincerely,

Adrian Mujica-Martinez

FiM Fiction Review - White Box

Well, SimCity proved to be a complete failure so I spent much of my week on Youtube and watching the launcher tell me Servers Busy: Please wait a hundred more hours. Of course, much of that time fimfiction.net stared at me from that comfortable place on my bookmarks bar like a lost cat longing for attention. I think all of you can guess what was the first thing I saw: an unread story that has 10,000+ views. This should be a piece of cake. So let’s get reviewing shall we? 

Chromosome’s White Box is nothing short of a masterpiece. For being a short story that shouldn't bring much investment when it comes to character development (due to time constraints), this story hooked me from the start with its excellent writing style and winning narration. Even with its considerably large plot holes, White Box was an incredibly touching and thought provoking experience. Here is why this story made me shed some liquid pride.

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White Box by Chromosome

Complete (last updated April 18, 2012)

My name is Canvas. I remember because I wrote it in the corner of the white box. It takes twelve steps to get from the cot to the wall. And the lights hurt my eyes. Read it here.

Tags: Tragedy

Rating: Teen

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White Box is an interesting take on insanity or more accurately, lack of knowledge. The whole drive behind it is questioning why the character thinks the way he does. What is most fascinating is how well the narrative immerses me into Canvas’s head. Canvas, more precisely his thoughts, narrate the story and it makes the narrative legitimately from his point of view. In fact, the narrative is probably the highest point in this story. Not to mention how his thoughts flow really well and feel incredibly natural. Since the story is mostly thought driven, I was surprised when I found myself not asking about details of actions or environments.

This first-person, thought-driven setup takes on a few issue and succeeds past my expectations, because of how simple everything seems at first. To me, it was shaping up to a really simple-minded approach to Canvas’s character. I shocked when it did the complete opposite. I found that White Box was so brilliantly set up to later so us just how much he develops as a character! In addition, it delivers one hell-of-a-punch when things got intense near the end.

The pacing was excellently done and it became apparent when the climax felt like a train hit me. The build up was excellent and there weren't any parts that felt rushed or overstayed their welcome. Twilight’s appearance was spot on and Chromosome put her in a place we have never seen before: what she will do when she sees other ponies doing wrong deeds. Twi stayed true to her character and reacted just as she would in the show. This is pretty amazing considering how we've never seen such a situation canonized.

Unfortunately, White Box has a big flaw to it. As mentioned in the beginning of my review, this story has some plot holes. Although it wraps up nicely, several questions are left unanswered. A fair share of things were not explained and left me wondering if there was more. I consider this major problem because  White Box doesn't have any excuse to continue the main conflict.

There are not enough words in the modern English dictionary to express how much I recommend this story. To summarize, mind-blowing narrative, incredible character development, excellent pacing, and an intense climax came together to make a real masterpiece. White Box is must-read for anyone looking to a short, touching story. Thank you Chromosome. This was Admujica, see you guys next time.

White Box gets a rating of: 9 out of 10

Read it here. (Click it NOW!)

FiM Fiction Review - March to the Scaffold

It’s judgement day for Chrysalis as the invader of the royal city of Canterlot is brought to stand trial for her crimes. Yes, ladies and gentleman, Chrysalis is about to pay her dues to Celestia for her failed invasion. Will the princesses have her executed? Will she be imprisoned for life? Will she be forced into slavery or something? Maybe she'll become Celestia’s pet changeling? Maybe I need to stop reading ship-fics, but that’s beside the point. Honestly, Foxy Kimichi’s March to the Scaffold really surprised me. Lets take a look at why. 

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March to the Scaffold by Foxy Kimichi

Complete (last updated Feb. 24, 2013)

Chrysalis is brought to Canterlot to stand trial for her failed invasion.  Thinking her fate is sealed, she is determined to be defiant to the very end. Loosely based on March to the Scaffold, the 4th movement of the musical piece Symphonie Fantastique by Hector Berlioz. Read it here.

Tags: Romance, Sad, Dark

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March to the Scaffold opens with Chrysalis, now in the hand’s of Equestria’s Royal Army, paying a visit to Canterlot. As we saw in the Season Two finale, her invasion failed miserably. Apparently Celestia was willing to send her soldiers to finish off the changeling army and hale Chrysalis’s sorry ass back for punishment. To be honest, I didn't have high hopes for this story. Chrysalis's fate something that would definitely be interesting to hear about. I always had a head canon for Chrysalis taking her own life after the fall of her kingdom. It was dark but at least it was a bit less predictable than the opening of this story. It is predictable, no question about it, but that’s where the less expected plot twists begin. March to the Scaffold does an excellent job with storytelling and almost never suffers from being cheesy or boring.

Of course, you can't tell a good story with bad characters. Chrysalis and Mortar each deliver fantastic performances with lines that don't make me cringe like I usually do with stories that have the “Romance” tag. What impressed me even more is that March to the Scaffold made me cheer on a complete jerk. Truth be told, Chrysalis was a very unlikeable character, but I'm sure I wasn't not the only one that ended up hoping that things will work out for her in the end. Mortar was just as great. He is a down to earth character that is very easy to connect to. Nothing really dramatic or out-of-the-ordinary in the characterization department, but that’s exactly what makes me feel so much for Chrysalis and Mortar.

I also have to address the source of inspiration and it’s influence on pacing. March to the Scaffold is loosely based on March to the Scaffold, the 4th movement of the musical piece Symphonie Fantastique by Hector Berlioz and other classical music pieces. Although music is a great and classy inspiration for literature, and vice versa, it can have some negative effects on the pacing. I know, I know. I pounded on Lethe about pacing too, but many can agree it’s one of or the most essential mechanics in a story. The pacing was perfect until the later chapters. They drag on, making the end feel like there should have been more. There’s a sweet spot with pacing. Too long and you'll bore people to death. Too short and the events lack weight. March to the Scaffold was close but no cigar.

Foxy Kimchi did a wonderful job and March to the Scaffold could have gotten a 9 out of 10 if it weren't for this little issue at the end. This one was a real joy to read and I look forward to what he does next. With a large audience and a big hitter under his belt, the possibilities are endless. Thanks Foxy and I hope to see you in the future. This has been Admujica, see you next time.

March to the Scaffold gets a rating of: 8.5 out of 10

EQD worthy, Absolutely worth reading

Read it here.