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Sunday, September 1, 2013

FiM Fiction Review - The End [Stories Back From the Read - Season 1]

I get the feeling I'm going to get a lot of hate for this. Shalrath's The End is by far the most liked story reviewed on this blog, but I would fail as a critic if I told you I was impressed and therefore, earn your hatred. Nevertheless, a critic who doesn't expect to be hated obviously didn't read the job description thoroughly and didn't realize that hatred simply goes under “occupational hazard.” The End is at best a solid story with an excellent presentation but sub-par story elements. Even with its solid dialogue and good structure, The End is likely to disappoint those of you looking for a deeper read with lousy character development and poor story progression. For the sake of getting it over and done with, onward to the review!


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The End  by shalrath
Incomplete (Last Updated September 25, 2012) 

A visitor arrives in Equestria, bearing a wealth of knowledge and a troubled past.  The Mane 6 are quick to befriend the stranger, who helps them to discover what they truly value in life, and how to achieve it.

But learning to overcome their fears and achieve their desires comes at a steep price, paid by their innocence. Read it here

Tags: Sad, Dark, Comedy, Adventure, Human  Rating: Teen 
Total Words: 89,908 words total - Featured on Equestria Daily
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For progressing rather slowly, The End opens well by establishing it's conflict early on. I enjoyed seeing this story know where it's pointing and it was a life saver. By establishing its conflict early on, the reader isn't very bored as the questions catch your attention. The conflict might suck you in with its mystery, but instead of continuing its winning introduction, it doesn't move on from jokes and awkward situations for about four chapters. Like I said, The End progresses horribly slow.

The End features a small cast of the Mane 6 and three original characters. While the Mane 6 don't veer too far from their canon counterparts, they don't have much character development beyond the comedy. It's the same for the original characters. While I enjoy the humor, the characters feel like they are there for purely comedic relief. They're all one-dimensional ponies built with the word “funny” in mind. You'll be fine with this if you enjoy the comedy, just like most of the story, but the roles are not interesting by any stretch of the imagination.

If there was one thing that impressed me about The End, it would be the writing mechanics themselves. Shalrath put a good engine under the hood and it shows. Grammar and structure is excellent with errors few and far between and, for the most part, the story is well written and easy to read. If had something to complain about here, it would be that scene transitions don't always go smoothly. Even if they're overall alright, just like every story, The End has it's transition hiccups.

Surprisingly, the dialogue was solid, even with the poor characters. It was very comedic in tone and while they doesn't feel all too organic from time to time, lines flow naturally. Many could say this is The End's strongest point in which long, dialogue-driven scenes don't feel forced or boring. Conversations are witty, funny, and even smart when they want to be.

Overall, I would recommend The End to those of you looking for a good laugh or a casual yet long story to stick with for a while. The dialogue pulls through even when characters are one-dimensional and the story is interesting even when progressing slowly. In conclusion, not bad. Not bad at all. Shalrath's first story presents itself with excellence in mind, but doesn't really spreads its wings when it comes to its story elements. So this wraps up the review in our newest series, Stories Back From the Read. Be sure to tune in next Friday for my review of RavensDagger's Of Steam, Gears, and Wings. This has been Admujica, have a great week everypony!

The End gets a score of: 6.5 out of 10 – Decent
Good writing but with poor characters and story progression, it's not for you guys looking for a deeper read
Read it here.

Side-Note
I know I promised to review Of Steam, Gears, and Wings this week, but unfortunately, I need written permission from the author to do a review (so no one feels they were violated). You guys understand. I haven't gotten a response yet and as a result, no review. My deepest apologies and I will resend the request tomorrow in hope of a reply.

One more thing: this was suppose to be post two days ago but my team and I ran into many issues with Blogger and its HTML. Thank you for your patience while we fixed it and you guys are fantastic!

Writing Quote of the Week 
 “This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.”
- Neil Gaiman


Shout Outs!  
Lots of love to the Texan Bronies of Texas FiM Fiction group for featuring the banner I made for them and then making me a moderator for it! Keep it up guys and long live Texas! 

 The awesome guys are Protect Celestia asked to design a banner for them in light of their 400 members celebration. Congratulations and I hope you like the banner! 

This review is part of our latest series:

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