FiM Fiction Review: On Time for a Change

Welcome back, internet travelers! It appears we're having an unofficial comedy week here as this is the second comedy I have reviewed and the second time I took the schedule as a complete joke! Yeah… Just give no regard to the calendar for now. I'll have it fixed by The Sword Coast! Promise! Jumping in, LordSmokedMeatsandFishes's On Time for a Change follows the story of Pendulum, an expert in logistics, as he tries to fix Ponyville's Winter Wrap Up problem. He runs into the inevitable roadblocks and humor ensues. Unfortunately, On Time for a Change has a great setup but is inhibited by its own setbacks. Pendulum is the stereotypical unlikeable Manehatten businessman and the story is rather ill-paced and badly executed. Everything else is not at all memorable or clever, making for an overall lackluster read. Head below the break for my review of On Time for a Change by LordSmokedMeatsandFishes. 

FiM Fiction Review: The Origin of Sunbutt

Welcome back, internet travelers! Let me start by apologizing for the schedule mix up involving this one. I recently attended a four-day journalism workshop that unfortunately left me very little time to finish the critique, but after a little rest, I think I'm ready to jump right into this one. GeodesicDragon's The Origin of Sunbutt is -and I’m going to get so much hate for this- tragically sub-par. While I looked forward to a short but comical take on Celestia’s cutie mark story and backstory behind the Sunbutt nickname, The Origin of Sunbutt presents itself with very little character and lack of a solid plotline or pacing to drive the thing. Along with mediocre dialogue and sub-par portrayal of Celestia, I cannot recommend it, especially if you're unfamiliar with Geo’s form of storytelling. Head below the break for my review of The Origin of Sunbutt by GeodesicDragon.

FiM Fiction Review: Adventures in Cake Sitting

Greetings, internet travelers! It has been quite a while since the last review so, with the help of the bestest friends anyone can ask for, I've returned to rectify this situation! Jumping right in, JMac’s Adventures in Cake Sitting, the sequel to Quizzical, unfortunately doesn’t live up to its predecessor; which scored an 8 out of 10 here on Problematic Reviews. There are glaring issues in the introduction and pacing problems that inhibit the story's ability to fully develop characters and get the reader interested in the plot. However, Adventures in Cake Sitting picks up towards the latter part and fans of Quizzical who are looking for something to read might enjoying another story featuring the timid little pony. Unfortunately, the ending just doesn't make up for much of these issues. So without further ado, head below the break for my review of JMac’s Adventures in Cake Sitting.

FiM Fiction Review - Your Beutifull

Welcome back everypony! The thing with this Stories Back to the Read series is that it's sort of like going through your old record collection. The nostalgia just flows in. But I'm pretty sure most of you don't care how many clopfics I've read about my reading history so without further ado: Your Beutifull is not a story that revolutionizes the romance genre, but it does its job well and has some humorous plot elements driving the story beyond "[Pony 1] can't get themselves to tell [Pony 2] she loves him/her." I personally enjoyed some of these quirky elements and, along with great pacing and characterization, I would recommend you check this one out if you're into shipping. Onward to the review!

FiM Fiction Review - The End [Stories Back From the Read - Season 1]

I get the feeling I'm going to get a lot of hate for this. Shalrath's The End is by far the most liked story reviewed on this blog, but I would fail as a critic if I told you I was impressed and therefore, earn your hatred. Nevertheless, a critic who doesn't expect to be hated obviously didn't read the job description thoroughly and didn't realize that hatred simply goes under “occupational hazard.” The End is at best a solid story with an excellent presentation but sub-par story elements. Even with its solid dialogue and good structure, The End is likely to disappoint those of you looking for a deeper read with lousy character development and poor story progression. For the sake of getting it over and done with, onward to the review!

FiM Fiction Review - The Human and The Tall One

I couldn't help but notice that I have been giving out lower and lower scores as of late. I think I might just be growing a bit ill-humored and therefore more willing to burn a box of puppies. I never liked the bloody things anyways. TheMadBrony’s The Human and the Tall One has an entertaining main character that is driving force behind this story. The conversations he has with himself are hilarious and while it doesn’t express internal conflict, his multiple personalities provide very amusing commentary. However, this story is quickly weighed down by mediocre dialogue and bad characterization. Even more so, the narrative and writing need some work. This is going to be another negative review, isn't it? Yep! Onward to reviews!

FiM Fiction Review - Quizzical

As I watch my inbox turn into a jumbled mass of unread stories, I couldn't help but notice that most of them don't really fit into the My Little Pony universe. I guess that’s the nature of fan fiction right? However, I could very well say that JMac's Quizzical fits seems seamlessly into our enchanted land of magical talking horses with one exception. Damn you, Alicorn Twilight. Nevertheless, I can easily say that Quizzical might be one of my favorite stories of 2012 for it’s strengths in character development, story arc, and great dialogue. Even with its rough edges, Quizzical is definitely worth a read. Let's get our review on and see why.

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Quizzical by JMac

Complete (Finished Dec 8, 2012)

Quizzical Greystone has just come to Ponyville as an assistant in Friendship Research.  Such a socially inept filly might not be the best pony for the job.  But this just might be the job she  needs.  If you can't make friends in Ponyville can you make friends anywhere? Read it here.

Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy

Rating: Everyone

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Quizzical, the story’s main character and namesake, is probably the most dull and boring character I have ever met; but I loved her! JMac had me hooked from the get go as Quizzical’s character is expertly introduced and stays the strong throughout the story. Her dialogue strengthens her character even more by feeling like a clear extension of her personality. Quizzical's biggest strength is in character development pretty much all across the board. Unfortunately, this can't be said for the antagonists. The characters introduced in the latter part of the story felt rushed and forgettable. It’s a strange contrast for a story with such great ones. Nevertheless, Quizzical has excellent characters and sticks to having the Mane 6 stay in character pretty well.

As stated above, the dialogue is great and compliments the personalities of the entire cast. Although it does have its hiccups from time to time, the dialogue flows smoothly and feels highly organic. More than anyone, Quizzical’s lines are feel like an extension of her character. No small feat considering she is an original character. Not to mention there are one or two references thrown in. Did I lose an eyebrow? Did you really think you could hide those MythBusters references from me, JMac?

Pacing is done extremely well with plenty of time taken to development characters and establish relationships. Nor do the scenes overstay their welcome. Nothing in this story feels rushed or slow. Hats off to JMac for that one. The one thing that did bother me was the structure. Paragraphs and chapters end and begin very abruptly. As a result, Quizzical is choppy and it scene transitions are odd and badly placed. The overall writing style doesn't flow naturally. Although the story is easy to follow, it is a bit hard to read without getting a bit annoyed at the transitions.

This is already a long review. Don't worry, I'm almost done. Quizzical suffers from what I like to call “the sequel syndrome.” Don't get me wrong, sequels are good and I definitely plan to read Thweet Geniuth, the sequel to Quizzical. Yes, I need more Quiz and yes, I love that pony! Now I say “sequel” with plenty of caution because Thweet Geniuth doesn't seem to continue Quiz’s character arc. Nevertheless, Quizzical ends very abruptly. Quiz's arc is open ended and there isn't really any conclusion to the story. You know what? I could be wrong. Until I read Thweet Geniuth, which introduces a new conflict and looks to develop Twist’s character, I can’t say anything. All I know for now is that Quizzical ends badly, leaving open ends and not finishing Quiz's character arc. "Wait! You forgot something Admujica! There is another sequel! Quizzical And the Basements of Doom is currently in production!" A huge grin just crept across my face.

I told you I was almost done. Quizzical does have problems with it story. I can’t exactly say because I've kept these reviews spoiler free and they're going to stay that way! Maybe I publish a new series called Spoiler-licious-ness. That'll be fun. We’re getting off track here. Even though Quizzical has its rough edges, it’s strong characters and entertaining dialogue make an excellent story. I definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a medium length comedy. This has been Admujica. Have a good week everypony.

Quizzical gets a score of: 8.7 out of 10

Strong characters and excellent dialogue join to make an enjoyable story

Read it here.

Squeal: Thweet Geniuth can be found here.

Squeal: Quizzical Greystone And the Basements of Doom can be found here.